Battling Breast Cancer: A Journey To Recovery

Samantha Motta Findlay, Expert Practitioner in our People and Change practice, has spent most of 2018 battling breast cancer. She shared her brave story with us, discussing her powerful network of friends and family as well as how she maintained a positive outlook in even the most trying times.

We’re so inspired by your story. Can you tell us about your diagnosis and journey to recovery?

This past January, I noticed a visual change in my right breast getting ready for work one morning, and admittedly I wasn’t very concerned. I had spent the previous months recovering from complications due to a miscarriage, and as an active, healthy 36-year old with no family history of breast cancer, I assumed it was related to hormone changes. As a result, I waited 3 weeks to have it checked. Even then, my practitioner was not alarmed about what she felt, but arranged for a mammogram and ultrasound the following week.

I think a lot about what I did those final days before I found out I was diagnosed – I rode my bike in the unseasonably good February weather, invited friends over for a silly game night, went to concert that covered 80’s love songs in honor of Valentine’s Day. All the while not knowing that I had a deadly invader in my body that would create a major detour in our lives. Besides my husband, I only told one friend about my appointment because I was that unconcerned about the outcome.

Then on February 20, 2018, my 45-minute appointment devolved into 8 hours at the hospital. A snowstorm hit Portland that day – when I walked in for my appointment at 7:30 a.m., it was cold, cloudy and dry, and by the time I left, a layer of white coated the city… and I had cancer. Technically it took about a week to receive the full diagnosis – we got each sliver of information in this order: Breast cancer. Requires surgery. Grade 3. Triple positive. Six rounds of chemo every 3 weeks. Aggressive growth rate. Spread to the lymph nodes. Stage 2B.

Twenty years ago, triple positive breast cancer was a likely death sentence – thanks to donation funded research, today it is very treatable. In fact, my surgical oncologist, Dr. Johnson, also beat triple positive breast cancer 5 years ago – she inevitably doubled as both a caregiver and role model for me throughout treatment. And once Dr. Johnson learned that I channel Beyoncé when I’m nervous, the whole surgical team would sing Queen B songs to me (with dancing included!) when they wheeled me into surgery.

Surprisingly there was something to celebrate in these first days – even though the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes, it had not metastasized to any of my organs. And unlike having cancer in a functional organ like my stomach, lungs, etc., I was lucky enough to have cancer in my breast, which wasn’t performing any critical bodily function. More than anything, I felt like I had a ticking bomb in my chest until treatment started two weeks later.

What was your secret to maintaining positivity during treatment?

So many things! For me, I’m my best self when I don’t take myself too seriously. Here’s a quick example – about 18 days after my first round of chemo, my scalp started to hurt, signaling the start of my hair loss. I cut my hair in stages over several weeks, then during the full shearing in April, my husband gave me a brief but awesome Mohawk so we could snap punky pics. Surprisingly, I shed no tears during that milestone haircut.

Also as an extrovert, I very deliberately scheduled something nearly every day with friends or family to get myself out of the house. My local NH friends were at my side at least a couple times per week. Even though I was on medical leave from work, it was important for me to stay tied to the office – my coach, Diane Bradley, and I continued informal one-on-one check-ins and in addition to weekly coffee, Sarah Foltz joined me for my fifth round of chemo – that was a surprising highlight of 2018 for me.

It was also important for me to allow myself the space to be upset, angry, and scared along the way. I learned that if I allowed those waves to engulf me, rather than resist them, then the negative feelings would pass more quickly. There were still hard days. And some hard days turned into hard weeks – some of the body changes were hard to cope with. The hair loss was hard enough – in addition, my skin was so dry that I reduced my shower schedule to every other day, and could only use cold water. My fingernails got infected. My deadened taste buds made my mouth taste like I was sucking on pennies. But every day, I could find moments where I still felt like me.

North Highland’s benefits allowed me to focus on my own health without worrying about the burden of the cost of treatment. A week after my diagnosis, I emailed our CEO Dan Reardon to update him on my health status, and to thank him for driving decisions that enable comprehensive coverage for our NH community. I was able to access the best specialists in Oregon without concern about what would be covered.

How did your support system help you through your journey?

As soon as I posted about my situation on social media, there was a fire hose of support. Even friends that I hadn’t talked to since elementary school wanted to help – thanks to a “meal train” type website and the help of close friends, we converted the fire hose into a sustaining drip system. Invaluable visits from friends were spread across the next several months, which prevented me from melting into the couch.

And like any good consultant, I knew I needed a plan. I called two brilliant NH friends to create a war room in my house. We divvied my treatment schedule into six sprints, with supporting daily checklists and progress trackers. In addition, we designed an inspiration board to fuel healing thoughts with humor. We also designed a “stakeholder analysis” that included nearly 200 family and friends’ names – I could sort the information based on proximity to my house, familiarity with cancer, work flexibility, and about 10 other factors. My feet got back under me that day – and I dutifully utilized these tools. My family joked that I was consulting my way out of cancer.

What message do you have for others about breast cancer?

Early detection saves lives! If you notice something suspicious, get it checked immediately. And don’t tell yourself that breast cancer only affects older women – in fact, when it does show up in younger bodies (including men’s bodies), it’s typically more aggressive and life threatening. Catching it fast is the best way to win this battle!

And if you’re dealt the unfortunate hand of being diagnosed with breast cancer, tell friends and family as soon as you are ready. There’s a boatload of people who care about you, and they will connect you with their friends who have been previously diagnosed with cancer. My community of survivors listened to me like no one else was able to, and made sure I was asking the best questions every time I met with my treatment team.

Where are you in treatment now?

After I finished chemo, I had the option for a lumpectomy or mastectomy, and I chose the more aggressive approach – a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. In that surgery, they tested the breast tissue and previously affected lymph nodes, and found no evidence of cancer (thank you chemo!). Surprisingly, the most intense waves of emotion crashed after we received that great news. August and September were rough – my feelings finally caught up to what my body had been experiencing the past several months, and survivor’s guilt weighed me down for weeks at a time.

I still receive Herceptin infusions – what I call “easy chemo” – every three weeks through the anniversary of my diagnosis date. One more surgery lies in front of me next month to complete the reconstruction process. I also utilize endocrine therapy, which translates to taking a pill every day that has subtle but tolerable side effects. I returned to work in early October with a reduced work schedule, and the transition back has been relatively smooth and refreshing. I adore basking in the brilliance of our Portland team – what a warm welcome back!

What are the best tools for healing?

Here’s my list of tools – doesn’t work for everyone but was monumental in grounding me through this process.

  • Acupuncture
  • Yoga, three times a week
  • Meeting other survivors
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Walks, four times a week– sometimes I could only muster a walk around the block, and other days, I would reach 7-10k steps
  • Supplements – I was taking up to 20 capsules a day!
  • Snuggling with my 10-year-old spaniel
  • Netflix and Hulu – thank goodness for reruns of ER, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, 90210, 30 Rock, Family Guy, etc.
  • Diaphragmatic breathing
  • Bunny therapy – it’s a real thing!
  • Channeling a different musicians’ lyrics to each round of chemo – Alanis Morissette, Pearl Jam, Tupac, and of course Beyoncé provided the soundtrack for each chemo day.  I would prepare notecards with their song lyrics assigned to each bag of cancer and then listen to that song in my own version of meditation.
  • High protein diet

And here are the tools that I opted out of but others find helpful:

  • Naturopathy
  • Chinese herbs/medicine
  • Support groups
  • Guided meditation
  • Fasting before chemo sessions

Battling cancer is a daunting process, but a strong network of friends and family, coupled with a mapped-out treatment plan, made all the difference in my outlook and recovery. 

Battling Breast Cancer: A Journey To Recovery

Battling Breast Cancer: A Journey To Recovery

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